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Wednesday, July 4, 2018

10 Little Life Reminders


Throughout our lives, we're told lessons that other people have learned through their personal experiences. For us, those who didn't experience it, I like to call them "life reminders". It's not really advice nor a lesson (for us); just simply a reminder on how to live the best life that we can live. Not all life reminders will resonate with us, which is why we can't remember all the life reminders that people have told us throughout our lives. Our minds can't possibly hold that much information that we don't see as valuable. But, there are some that stick out from the rest because somehow it means something to us. Here, I'll share my 10 Little Life Reminders that stuck out for me.


1.) "If you're too unsure of yourself, you'll be more susceptible to letting people tell you what you want and you don't want that."

self-discovery journal prompt questions for your personal development, self-improvement, and to get to know yourself better


For the uncertain.

I got this gem when I went to my college advisor about changing my major. As I had a mid-life crisis in her office, she saw that I was unsure of myself and of my future. I guess my uncertainty was so strong that she felt compelled to say that little reminder above. When she said that, I realized that's exactly what I was doing; I was letting other people tell me what I wanted to do because I didn't know what I wanted to do.

To help me get out of this stage of uncertainty, she recommended that I read some self-help books to find myself. And, I did just that and started journaling, enrolled in a life coaching program, listened to inspirational podcasts, and started watching self-discovery/self-help videos on YouTube; I embarked on a self-discovery journey. I'm still in the process of getting to know myself better, but I am surer of myself compared to before and I definitely won't make the same mistake of letting other people tell me what I want.

Feeling lost, too? Here's my advice: just like my college advisor's advice, I recommend that you go out and try to find yourself. This can include reading self-help books, trying stuff that you've never done before, and journaling. To get you started, I made a list of self-discovery journal prompts that you can do in the graphic above. Here's a list of books that I've read and recommend:
  • The Science of Getting Rich by Wallace Wattles
  • You Are a Badass by Jen Sincero
  • How to be a Bawse by Lilly Singh
There's a self-discovery exercise that you can do where you explore why you admire the people that you admire or are jealous of. I actually did it and wrote a blog post about it. I also gave more clear instructions in it, too. If you need an example and/or more instructions on how to do it, you can take a look at the blog post here.

2.) "If there's any possibility that you MIGHT get hurt, STOP. Don't go through that person's page because it's not worth trying to rebuild your confidence again."


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For the insecure creepers.

I mentioned this in my "Friendly Reminder: Don't Compare Yourself to Others" blog. But, I received this advice/reminder from my counselor at school when I was feeling insecure because I was constantly comparing myself to other people on social media. And, although it was simple and obvious, it was what I needed to hear. Most of the time when I'm just about to click onto a page where I know it'll trigger something, I'll stop myself because I'll remember this. After all, she was right, it isn't worth dealing with the insecurity after in exchange for being nosy.

3.) "Take your thought and back it up with some evidence and compassion."



For the anxious and the people who have a negative thought loop.

This mental tool I got from my counselor at school. This psychological method is called the Logic Compassion Reframe. Basically, what you do is take your thought and see if you can back it up with some evidence. Then, combat it with the evidence that proves otherwise. From there, once you've laid out all your thoughts and evidence for both sides, you can make a judgment to your thought accordingly. Most of the time, at least in my case, I usually found that there was no actual evidence to support whatever I was thinking and was able to combat it with logic.

Through this method, you'll be able to recognize when these scenarios were logically sound or just a product of your own mind. But, when you're doing this, remember to practice with compassion. It helps to remind yourself that you did your best and that you are on your own team. It's easy to let your anxiety take over, but, once you become aware that it is your anxiety talking and you start combating it, you'll be unstoppable.

I drew out an example above of this LCR concept. To get all the steps of the LCR, you can read more at my blog post 5 Tips to Deal With Insecurity While in a Relationship.

4.) "Your undergrad doesn't matter. Most people don't even go into the industry that they studied."


Photo (Hey, that's my school!)

For the college students who don't know what they want to do.

Almost every college advisor told me this when I had an existential crisis about not wanting to pursue my major anymore. Most of them told me their personal experiences about how they decided to pursue something unrelated from their college major. The few that didn't tell me their personal experiences told me of stories of other people that they knew that switched over to another industry. So, if you are a college student having a mid-life crisis about your major and/or life, you don't need to have your whole life figured out. You'll figure it out. College is a scam. All will be well.

5.) "You don't owe anyone an explanation. It's none of their business, anyway."




For the self-conscious.

This was Diane Tran's, the blogger behind Beauty Unmanaged, reaction when I told her that I was nervous about other people's reactions when I transferred colleges. She was right. Whether it be me transferring schools or trying to start my own blog, I don't owe anyone an explanation. And same for you, too. Well, as long as we're not hurting anyone, I don't think we need to explain ourselves.

6.) "Listen! I don't want you to ever say that you can't do something, you understand me?"

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For the unconfident.

I was in my 7th-grade gym class. I was forced to play softball by my gym teacher Mr. Mastrocola. I'm not particularly athletic, so I usually didn't participate in gym class. When I was forced to bat, I got 3 strikes, and I said to my gym teacher, "I can't do it!" Then, he kept making me bat. One swing after another, it felt like forever! But, eventually, I finally hit the ball. It only took like 10 tries, but regardless I hit it. I ran to first base and he said that he didn't want me to say I couldn't do something again. This moment stuck in my head even after 10 years because you can really do anything you want. It just depends if you're willing to keep going even after those first couple strikes.

7.) "You have to be intentional with your time."

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For the procrastinators.

This wasn't said to me personally but said repeatedly in books and self-help videos. If you spend your time working towards your goals, the actions you are a step closer to your goal. On the other hand, if you spend your time just wasting time (constantly going through social media or only watching Netflix on your free time), you aren't taking steps towards your goals and thus maintaining the status quo. There's nothing wrong with that if that's what you want. But, if you want to work towards something, start optimizing your time so you can get closer to the life that you want! A great book that explains this concept is Slight Edge by Jeff Olson.

8.) "You need to fail before you succeed."



For the discouraged.

Again, advice that was given repeatedly through podcasts, videos, and books. Through your mistakes, you learn your biggest lessons. If we constantly were winners, we wouldn't grow or learn anything. In Rich Dad Poor Dad, Robert Kiyosaki explains how the things we remember the most are through failures, and it's true. Think about it, where did you learn your biggest lessons? Through losses or wins? Most likely from your losses, right? When you try to pursue what you failed at, you can use your knowledge that you've gained from the last time you've done it, and be more successful at it the second time around. If you fail at it the second time and decide to try again, you'll use the lessons that you've learned the first and second time around. With each failure comes a lesson and another opportunity to start over more wisely. (I got that from Henry Ford).

9.) "Treat your mind like money. Don't waste it."

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For the over-thinkers.

"Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character."

This is one of my favorite quotes. I got it from the book #Girlboss by Sophia Amoruso. In the book, she talks a little about manifesting your thoughts, which is the basis of the Law of Attraction. For those who don't know what that is, it's when you manifest your thoughts into reality with the help of the Universe. The Universe will meet you halfway on your dominating thoughts and doesn't discriminate so if you think negative thoughts, the Universe will help you make those dominating negative thoughts happen. If you think about something positive happening to you, the Universe will help you manifest those positive things to happen. A great video that explains this well is Lavendaire's Manifesting: Law of Attraction | Dream Life Series.

Initially, I thought the Law of Attraction is hogwash. But, after realizing that it was in one shape or another in almost every self-book, I thought maybe there was some truth to it. I tried to understand how did it make sense. And, after reading about it a little more, I think I finally understand. The Law of Attraction isn't saying that you can just make something on thought alone, which is what I thought it was saying in the beginning. Obviously, some action would be needed to actually make something happen, but your mindset is just the start. If you have a positive mindset, you're more open to seeing opportunities the Universe is sending you. On the other hand, if you have a negative mindset, you only see the negatives of a situation and will limit yourself from seeing opportunities and solutions to problems. You start focusing on the opportunities for the negative, thus, the things that you don't want to happen will happen.

10.) "You're not gonna be good [in the beginning] and you're gonna have to accept that and still keep going."


For the perfectionists.

I got this little reminder from Lavendaire's Take Action, Be Consistent | Dream Life Series video. The whole video is about taking consistent action to achieve a goal, but this particular quote stuck out to me because I know that there are a lot of you guys that believe that you need to be good at what you want to pursue from the beginning and that's not necessarily true. These expectations result in two things:
  1. Not taking action.
  2. Quitting
And, you don't want either of those things to happen. So, just as Lavendaire said, don't have such high expectations for yourself. It can be discouraging, but, if you keep pushing and practice, you'll get better through your experience and you'll get where you want to be.

Have your own life reminders you'd love to share? Share and leave a comment below! And if you liked this post, share it Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest!

Blog about life reminders and life lessons

Blog about life reminders and life lessons

2 comments :

  1. What a fantastic post. As a mother of 2 daughters, 16 and 12, it is so difficult to teach self-love amidst the craziness of a social media epidemic that is literally destroying women's self images. Thank you for some really amazing tools that we are going to implement in our daily lives. :)

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    1. I’m so glad you found this helpful, Angela! 😊

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