Monday, August 27, 2018

7 Things To Do To Boost Your Confidence

Confidence boosters and confidence building to be a confident woman and secure woman

Feeling a little insecure? Need that boost of confidence for that job interview that's about to come up but don't feel confident? No worries, I got you! I've done some research and found some relatively easy things you can do to put yourself at ease and help you boost your confidence. Most of these things can be done quickly, which makes them perfect to do before your job interview, date, presentation, or whatever it is! Here are the 7 Things to do to Boost Your Confidence!

1.) Do a power pose for 2 minutes.

Did you know that if you do a power pose for 2 minutes you can increase your testosterone - your confidence hormone - and lower your cortisol - your stress hormone? Neither did I prior to watching Dr. Amy Cuddy's TED talk.

If you're not in a place where you can watch the video above, I'll give you a quick summary.

For her experiment, she measured the participants' testosterone and cortisol levels. This is so she'll know the their baselines for these hormones. After, she had each participant do a high power pose for 2 minutes. Then, she measured their cortisol and testosterone levels. She found that their testosterone levels had raised and their cortisol levels had dropped.

After letting their testosterone and cortisol levels return to the baseline, she would have them do a lower power pose for 2 minutes. And, when she monitored their hormone levels, the opposite happened. The participants' testosterone decreased, whereas, their cortisol increased.

This means that if you do a high-power pose, you'll be more confident and less stressed. On the other hand, if you do a low-power pose, you'll be less confident and more stressed.

You're probably wondering what does it mean to do a "high-power pose" and a "low-power pose". Don't worry, I got you! A high power pose is when you spread yourself out. And, a low power pose is when you make yourself smaller. Here's a picture that demonstrates different high and low power poses.

Courtesy of InMovement

So, do your favorite power pose for 2 minutes and get your confidence up and your stress levels down!

2.) Dress up.

Imagine you put on your favorite outfit on right now. You know, the one that you've been waiting to wear because you're waiting for the optimal time so that most people can see you. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about. That one. And, then, imagine yourself with the hairstyle that you know you look good in, but you know, also compliments your outfit. Yeah, man, you're looking great! And, imagine yourself with your makeup done (if you wear makeup).

How do you feel? You probably want people to see you in your great outfit, your perfect hair, and gorgeous makeup (if applicable). You probably feel more confident. On the other hand, if you're just wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, you probably feel normal, at best. But, there's no, "Oh, my gosh I want people to see me!" or any more added confidence on top of however you were feeling before.

But why is that? You know your looks aren't everything, so, why do you feel more confident when you dress up? It's probably because society put a lot of pressure on beauty. Thus, a big part of our self-esteem is made up of how beautiful we see ourselves, physically.

After all, our surface is the first thing that everyone sees. And, if you dress up, you know you're giving your best first impression of yourself to others and feel your best. In other words, if you look good, you feel good.

3.) Visualize your ideal self.

Courtesy of QuoteFancy

To get the full benefits of this, I need your full cooperation for this one, okay?

You have a job interview coming up? Imagine yourself acing it. That party you're getting social anxiety over? Imagine yourself calm and interacting with people normally. Whatever the situation is, visualize it working out.

So, I'll guide you through this to help you. Where are you? What are you doing? What are you wearing? What do you see around you? What do you hear? What do you smell? Are you with anyone? The goal is to be able to make it feel real. So, the more details the better.

How do you feel? If you're like me, you feel energized and motivated after doing a visualization exercise. Not only does this help manifest it, but it makes you realize that this situation is possible. It feels real so it can happen!

4.) Exercise

I know, I know. This isn't a 2 minute thing, and you've heard that you need to exercise so many times before, but whether you like it or not, exercise is actually really good for you physically and mentally.

As I told you before, for most people, their self-body image has a direct correlation on their self-esteem. So, when you work out, you're working towards the body that you want. As you progress, you feel better and better about your body image, thus, increasing your self-esteem.

Adding onto that, according to Benna Crawford of, sticking to an exercise plan time and time again gives you a sense of accomplishment, especially if it was something that you struggled with before.

Crawford also mentions that if you struggle with anxiety, depression, or anger issues, yoga, tai chi, and qigong would be great for you! Because a lot of it has to do with breathing and being aware of your body and mind, it adds a piece of mindfulness into your life. Other benefits include releasing tension, improving coordination, quick reactions, IQ, memory, sleeping better, and regulating emotions.

5.) Wear cologne/perfume.

The Neurobiology of Scent and Reward mentions a study conducted by Roberts et al. in which they asked one group of men  to wear scented deodorant (test group) and another group of men  to wear non-scented deodorant (control group) for two days. They surveyed the men and discovered that the men who wore scented deodorant felt more confident.

The two groups had to introduce themselves through a videotape. Then, the experimenters had a group of women rate which participants they found more attractive. Not surprisingly, they said the men who wore the scented deodorant. By wearing fragrance, it increases the wearer's self-confidence, which in turn changes the wearer's demeanor and behavior to be more attractive to others.

Additionally, in the same source, Rachel Herz conducted a survey in which 90% of women feel more confident when they wear perfume. So, both men and women feel more confident when they smell good.

There isn't a definitive scientific reason why we feel more confident when we wear fragrances. But, the Economist offers three theories as to why this is:

  • It covers odors that are perceived as bad.
  • Some perfumes have ingredients mimic human pheromones, which are important for mating purposes. 
  • It heightens your natural scent, which advertises your sexual attractiveness.

Regardless of the reason, spritz on your favorite fragrance and get that boost of confidence!

6.) Listen to heavy bass music.

According to a study conducted by Dennis Hsu et al. that referenced in their article, heavy bass music can give you a boost of confidence. They had a group of people listen to music that barely had bass in it and another group of people listen to music that had heavy bass in it.

They found that the latter group would take lead and use power-related words such as control, direct, and rule. Refinery29 provides a possible explanation for this. People tend to associate deeper, lower tones with power and authority.

To amp yourself up, here's a list of songs that Bustle made to give yourself a boost of confidence.

7.) Say positive things about yourself.

I used to make self-deprecating jokes a lot. Truth is, I actually felt that way about myself. As a lot of people do (especially Twitter and Tumblr), I used humor to deal with my insecurities and make light of them. I would make jokes saying that I was trash because I actually believed that I was trash. Those jokes used to be funny to me, but it's not funny to me anymore because I don't see myself like that anymore.

I didn't realize that when you say self-deprecating comments about yourself you're actually manifesting what you're saying into your thoughts. The more you say it, the more it becomes real to you. It's kind of like affirmations, but instead of empowering you, it de-powers you. And, I used to think saying positive affirmations was horseshit, but then I remembered I did it repeatedly for years but with negative affirmations and believed it wholeheartedly.

So, I thought, why don't I just try saying positive things about myself instead? So, that's what I did. I started working it in my normal conversations. For example, when someone asked me if I could carry a case of beer and I could, I would say, "Yeah, man, I'm a strong, independent woman." and carry it.

If you have trouble with this, here's an idea to help you get started. You can say, "I can do this!" when you're frustrated instead of, "I can't do this." Or "I suck." Easy, right?

There are many opportunities to speak negatively about yourself in normal conversation, and there are many opportunities to speak positively about yourself, too. But, think, which one will actually benefit you?

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  1. I totally need this now because I am down in the dumps today. Great tips!

    1. I definitely feel that. Hope this helps and your day goes better!

  2. Your articles and contents are more